What Will I Do When I Die?

Sometimes I wonder in the midst of all these things in life, what will I do when I die?

I mean, on the other side. A ghost. Some sort of spiritual delay like the others. I check in on the kids when they sleep. Sometimes I appear to them, when they miss me the most, or I give them a soft breeze if they feel as lonely as I did when I was alive.

I thought about haunting a few people but to be honest, when you’re dead, all that living stuff just seems completely irrelevant.

I mean, I’m dead. What do I have left to prove?

Life seemed to drag in the years until the narrowed ending. When you die, it’s not some cinematic moment, you just, die. It’s that simple. Sounds a bit anti-climatic, and it can be depending on how you go.

The after life is interesting in that whole “disembodied, timeless-void, ethereal, infinite hosts” sort of way. There’s a lot of darkness on this side and a few bursts of light. I can’t get used to the sheer hollowness of it. To be in a body, subject to time and all that mess, well, you get used to physics and neuromuscular artifacts, etc. You get used to caring about what your emotions mean or how you’ll pay the bills, you get used to worrying about all the shit that well, no one can solve.

When you’re in a body, you get bogged down with maintenance and the inevitable collapse of the cellular structure.

Ah, here comes a useless flashback of a memory from the last life.

You remember falling in love. The first kiss. The last one. The heartache, that stays for some reason.

The heartache, you never lose.